How to Bring New Life to Your Leftover Slice
Nothing is better than a fresh slice straight from the oven, still steaming, cheese perfectly melted, crust perfectly crisped, toppings popping. Sometimes, however, life intervenes and one finds oneself unable to finish their whole pizza on the first pass.
But is this such a bad thing? The day-old slice has its own merits. There’s a deepening of flavors, a bit of time to let elements mix and form something familiar but new. Like Lazarus, your pizza can rise again.
This raises a new question: how best to reheat?
There are many ways to warm up a leftover slice. Each brings drawbacks and benefits. Some methods are simple, others complex. Your decision must consider variables like the type of pizza you’re reheating, how hot you want it, and the tools available to you.
The task can be overwhelming. That’s why our expert team compiled this helpful list of the objectively best 10 ways to reheat your leftover slice. Rest assured, we have exhaustively tested every method on this list. We would never suggest something we are unwilling to do ourselves.
Microwave
We all know this would be on the list. Yes, the microwave. Stalwart and true. Will it work? Sure. But it has no panache, no imagination. It may heat your slice, but will it warm your heart? Use it if you want, but, like, come on.
Magnifying Glass
Under proper conditions, a household magnifying glass can provide a low-cost, energy efficient way to warm your pizza. Simply insert your glass between the sun and your slice and adjust until you find the proper angle. Then slowly move the concentrated beam of sunlight across your pizza, allowing the energy of Helios’ divine rays to heat and invigorate your snack.
This is the most precise method on our list. By focusing on specific areas, you can deliver the ideal temperature distribution across your slice. See a limp piece of pepperoni? Blast it. A spot of cheese that’s not quite goozy enough? Bring down upon it a heavenly beam of solar energy.
As you heat, you can also undertake a comprehensive visual study of your slice to ensure it’s still safe for consumption.
Bow Drill
Should you find yourself in the deep wilderness, zero cell signal, the nearest town miles away behind an impassable mountain range, the sun descending, a storm closing in, sinister eyes glinting in the bushes and growing bolder with every passing second, and you’re holding a room temperature slice, look no further than the bow drill. With a few simple materials, some know-how, and a bit of elbow grease, you’ll have a hot slice in minutes.
Simply construct a bow drill from two sticks and a length of cord. Securely mount the butt of the rod in the center of your slice, and get to spinning. When you see smoke rising from your pizza, it’s ready to eat.
Flamethrower
For those in a rush, we recommend the flamethrower. What it lacks in subtlety it makes up for in shock and awe.
Mount your slice a safe distance away, take aim, and, well, fire. If done properly, your slice should only need one or two blasts to reach an acceptable temperature.
Volcano
For anyone lucky enough to live near an active volcano, we have a foolproof way to bring the heat.
Simply don your heat suit, carefully approach the edge of the caldera, and lower your slice into the yawning mouth of hell. You’ll want some sort of strong and heat-resistant material, like a coat hanger, lest you lose your pizza in the magma and it gets overcooked.
Depending on the size of your volcano, you may be able to warm multiple slices at once.
Nuclear Fusion
Smashing two molecules together into a single, heavier one, releases unfathomable amounts of energy, energy which can be channelled towards reheating your leftovers. In mere moments your pizza will rocket from tepid to over 100 million degrees Celsius. Thanks, science.
Here’s how it’s done. Simply insert your slice into a fusion reactor, close the door, and hit start. We recommend wearing goggles and perhaps, depending on comfort level, taking one or two steps back to avoid the brunt of the radiation.
As reactor technology becomes smaller, more affordable, and more efficient, we expect to see this method explode in popularity (and hopefully, not explode in other ways). While preliminary research suggests there may be longer term health consequences, in the short term you’ll have a very hot piece of pizza.
Fireball Spell
While it is a third-level spell, meaning you won’t unlock it until Level 5 or 6, Fireball is an excellent way to reheat pizza. Boasting a 20-foot radius, a range of 150 feet, and 8d6 fire damage, this spell is a foolproof way to heat your snack and refill some HP. We must note that a successful Dexterity save will reduce that damage by half, but leftover pizza has famously low Dex.
For this reason we always recommend having a wizard and/or sorcerer in your party.
Earth’s Core
What if we told you there was an almost inexhaustible source of heat directly beneath your feet? Indeed, look no further than the Earth’s core.
To reheat your pizza using the molten center of our homeworld, just start digging. Continue for approximately 1800 miles, and, if you’ve got the correct angle, you’ll strike the core. At 5200 degrees Celsius, it should only take a moment to bring your pizza to an acceptable temperature.
Surface of the Sun
Too claustrophobic to tunnel? Well, consider going skyward rather than subterranean: the surface of the sun produces more than enough heat to revive your slice.
Securely strap your slice in a suitable spacecraft, initiate launch protocols, and blast off into the uncaring and infinite void of space. With the current limits on spacecraft technology you should reach the sun in about 100 days. Thankfully, you’ll have a steaming hot slice to nourish you on your return journey.
It’s often been observed that the sun resembles a celestial pizza. Coincidence? Impossible to say.
Spontaneous Combustion
For reasons of inconsistency, we recommend this method only as a last resort, should you have no other option or if all other methods have failed.
For spontaneous combustion, simply leave your slice in an isolated place, withdraw, and wait. It is far more likely to spontaneously combust if it is not being watched.
With patience, your pizza should eventually reheat under its own innate, latent thermodynamic power.
Bring that heat
We are confident that at least one of these methods will work for every reader. At least every serious pizza eater should have the tools and techniques available to attempt one of the methods listed above.
Do you have a favorite way of reheating pizza that does not appear on this list? Please let us know. Our research teams are always hunting for more methods to test and share with our community.